Sunday, September 28, 2014

How to Mail a Letter

My family is filled with Type A personalities.  There is a Way to do everything.  It doesn't matter if you get something done, it has to be done the correct way.  My father is Mr. Process.  This is a really good trait to have when you are a Pharmacist.  Wouldn't want those drugs made the wrong way you know.  He is meticulous when it comes to home improvement.  I swear that Zillow could use the marketing term- "House Remodeled by Greg Little' and it would increase the value by 10%.  His craftsmanship is amazing.   I appreciate his attention to detail, and find that I have inherited some of it, but I definitely fall short.  It drives him crazy when my brother and I don't do things the Way it should be done.  I am not allowed to make pancakes at his house.  I do not start my stirring gently with a fork in the middle of the batter slowly moving outward to make sure each and every grain of flour is blended at it is perfectly smooth.  I throw the hand mixer in there and always end up with some un-blended mix on the bottom.  Now, I have to say that his pancakes are generally better than mine, but mine are good enough.  (Good enough is not a term in Greg Little's vocabulary as you can imagine).

I am very lucky that my father has taught me how to do many things.  My first memory of one of these lessons was brought to mind the other day while Caroline was watching the Bubble Guppies.  (Bubble, Bubble, Bubble, Bubble, Guppies. Bubble, Bubble, Bubble, Bubble, Bubble Guppies.  You have to sing the song every time you say it)  One of the creatures was trying to mail himself to his friends house.  The whole episode was about mail and how a letter or package gets mailed.  I am glad Dad wasn't watching because they of course got it wrong.  I know because when I was about 5 or 6 I was shown the right way to mail a letter.  This is how it went.

Scene- Two story colonial house in the suburbs.  Tree lined street.  Little girl playing sweetly because she is an angel child that never did anything wrong.  Scene opens with father coming into the room

Greg: Daughter, grab your jacket.  We are going on a walk and I am going to teach you a very important life lesson today.

Megan (pre-"h"): Ok Daddy

Greg:  Daughter, mailing a letter is like life.  If you are doing it right you will succeed.  Do it the wrong way and who knows where you will end up.

Megan: Ok Daddy

Greg:  First you make sure the letter is addressed properly with a return address and the stamp placed perfectly square in the corner.

Megan: Ok Daddy

Greg: Next you walk to the mailbox.  In our neighborhood there is one on 17th street and one on 15th street.  They have pickups at different times so do your research to make sure you are going to the right mailbox where the letter will be picked up the fastest.

Megan: Ok Daddy

Greg:  Now we are here at the mailbox.  First you pull down the handle and check what time the pickup will occur.  You should usually have this memorized from previous visits, but sometimes the government does crazy things just to mess things up. (he says the same thing about Obamacare).  Once you have your time established, carefully lay the letter flat on the tray and close the lid.  Reopen the lid to ensure that the letter made it into the chute.  If the OCD is kicking in especially bad you can do that a couple of times.  Oh wait, he didn't say that it is just what I do.

Megan: Ok Daddy.  Can I have a cookie now?

Greg; Ok.  Sigh (as if he wasn't sure I was listening)

I was listening.

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