Grandpa Little Shortcut

I am not sure if it is all people in Ohio or just my family,  but if you talk to someone in my family and tell them you are driving somewhere they will always ask- Oh, which way are you going.  When you  reply, they will either tell you 10 places that you should stop along the way on your drive, or they will tell you three other ways to go.  It is really great (not) when you have two people in the room who have different opinions on the best way.  They start arguing for why their way is best. When an hour later you finally decide which way is best, they confuse you even more by giving you the directions in North, South, East and West instead of Left, Right and Straight.  I am pretty good at telling directions with the location of the sun, but in Ohio you only see the sun about one half of the year.  This is why we all had the little bubble compass thing that sat on the dash.  You also learned that if you wanted to get somewhere the fastest way you would not ask either of my grandfathers for directions.

Grandpa Gallagher did not try to hide the fact that he preferred taking the scenic route.  One time it took him and my grandmother 3 days to get to Bristol.  Typically 8 hours even driving slow.  I am pretty sure that trip caused a few burn marks on the seat. 

Grandpa Little was another story.   He was famous for his shortcuts.  We would get in the car and he would say - we could go "x" way, but I know a shortcut.  To most people taking a shortcut means that you will arrive at your destination in the shortest amount of time.  I am pretty sure Bill Little had a built in GPS that avoided Interstates.  Grandpa was a salesman for Teledyne Steel and drove all over his territory so he knew the roads and he always had a slew of maps in the glove compartment.  He knew the good diners.  He knew where the gas stations would be.  He knew the pretty drives.  We started to call the scenic route to any location the "Grandpa Little Shortcut".

While there are times that I want to get someplace the fastest way possible, I do find myself taking the Grandpa Little shortcut. As a kid my favorite GLS was when we got on the Turnpike at exit 11, one exit up from our normal exit.  That GLS usually involved a stop at Dairy Queen.  I love driving on Lake Road when I am in Ohio when going into Cleveland.  I like to drive down State Street in Bristol at night to see the sign, even when it is out of my way.  My husband actually prefers the GLS for most drives.  We always take the scenic route on vacations. When we went to Puerto Rico we rented a car and drove to many places that most tourists do not see.  Where I live now in rural Southwest Virginia is filled with GLS's.  Although many times the scenic route is the only way to get there. Just today I drove to a small town about 25 miles away for a birthday party. The one block downtown was very quaint.  The snow on the mountains was breathtaking.  Caroline was amazed by the icicles coming out of the sides of the mountains.  She exclaimed "That is just beautiful".  My kids didn't know my Grandpa Little, but I hope they inherit his love of "shortcuts". 

The 10 Year Class Reunion

Preface- Don't worry- no names are listed.

 It is hard to believe, but I have been out of high school for over 30 years.  Our class was supposed to have our class reunion in October, but alas... Covid.  I have been a part of the reunion committee since our 20th reunion.  It is fun to be a part of the committee.  I think our committee works well together because we all weren't in the same "cliques" in high school so we have good "representation".  The committee is also headed by quite possibly the nicest person in our class.  She has a kind heart and is so good, but not so good that you feel like you can't have a good time around her if you know what I mean.  She has always made it a point to make sure we tried to get in touch with all of our classmates.  Not just the ones that we were friends with.  She was in charge of our first reunion - the infamous Class of 1990, Tennessee High School reunion.  That was the reunion that will be regarded as one of the best reunions of all times.  

Your ten year high school reunion is strange.  You are an adult, but you aren't refined yet.  Most people have started on their career paths, and they are excited about the future.  You still think you know everything and think old people don't know what they are talking about.  If you are married you are probably on your first marriage.  You might have some people that are divorced, but very few with second or third spouses.  If you have kids they aren't teenagers yet so you probably still think your kids are really cute and sweet.  I guess what I am saying is that you are not jaded yet. 

Our reunion was at the Bristol Country Club, which at that time was really one of the only places to have a big party.  The dress was cocktail so everyone was all dolled up in fancy dresses and suits.  We probably had about one third to half of our class show up so with spouses and guests we were probably about 150 people.  It was really fun to see everyone.  I still live in Bristol so I get to see more people, but most of my close friends from high school moved away.  I still see them when they come back to visit, but it was very rare for all of us to be together at an event.  

The other thing that is different about your ten year reunion is you can still party.  And party we did.  I can't remember if it was a cash bar or if we got drink tickets, but the cocktails were definitely flowing.  It was all very refined while we ate dinner and gave awards for the person who came from the farthest place, the person with the most kids, the highest degree, etc., but then the DJ started.  It didn't take long for the dance floor to be full with mostly women dancing to the songs from high school and college.  Then the word got out that one of our classmates had chosen an interesting profession.  The word was that somebody recognized him from her bachelorette party and had no idea that he had graduated with us. Yes, boys and girls, one of our classmates was a male stripper.  There were some yearbooks lying on a table and I suspect there are probably some fingerprints on the page where his picture was because everyone kept going out to see who it was.  Somebody took it as a personal challenge to see if we could get him to show us what he did for a living.  It is all a little fuzzy at this point (I don't think I need to explain why...vodka), but it worked.  He came out on to the dance floor and started slowly taking off his tie.  Then he started with the buttons on his shirt.  It was all fun and games and everyone was cheering him on and then came the button on the pants.  We were sure he would stop, but .... he didn't.  All the way to his banana hammock.  Yep. He did it.  I was told by a witness that a spouse of a classmate went up to to our stripper classmate and said " 'Ey you need to stop,  People's wives are here." He didn't stop so punches were thrown.  My husband grabbed me, said Party Over and we left. 

Our other reunions have been much less eventful and I would expect that if we reschedule the 30th we probably will all keep our clothes on.  At least I hope so. No offense to my classmates, but I really don't want to see any of you naked.   

Owen's First Trip to the ER

 

I am prefacing this post with a comment that I really do try not to embarrass my family and friends with blog posts, but I do feel that after 13 years the statue of limitations has run out and we can now tell this story.  

It was Sunday morning, January 18th, 2009.  A day forever etched in history.  Liam, Owen, and I had just gotten back from Mass.  Mike had to be at church for Religious Ed and he was going to the later service.  I was probably cleaning something and I heard silence.  That silence when you know your kids should be making kid noises and you hear nothing. That silence when you know something is wrong.  I started looking for Owen.  Liam was 12 so I figured he was probably ok.  I looked everywhere and couldn't find Owen.  Finally I looked in the bathroom.  There he stood, very proudly, with his Diego potty training seat around his neck.  After gagging thinking about what might possibly be lingering on that seat I tried to help him get the seat off.  It wouldn't budge.  In addition to my good looks, all my children have my big head.  Not in a conceited sense, but we all have really big round heads.  My kids could wear adult hats by the time they were 8.  Anyway, I thought I better take a picture of this because I will want Owen to remember this some day. I had no idea it would get to the level that it did.  I took the picture and then tried to get the seat off again.  No luck.  I put oil on the seat thinking it would help it slide off.  No luck.  I called my dad who of course couldn't do anything because he was 8 hours away, but it was worth a shot. By this time Owen was getting scared.  It was funny for a few minutes, but he was starting to cry.  I didn't know what to do so I headed to the ER.  

The trip to the ER was nuts.  Owen couldn't fit in his car seat because of the toilet seat. He kept asking over and over if the doctor would get it off.  Liam was in the front seat in tears because he was laughing so hard.  I called my friend Anna on the way.  When she answered the phone I said in a very shaky voice (because I was trying not to laugh) that I was on the way to the ER.  I heard her jump up as if to get her keys and meet me at the ER as she asked why.  When I told her that Owen had a toilet seat stuck on his head I just burst out crying.  I was seriously crying because I was trying so hard not to laugh.  

We got to the ER and  I walked in, holding my child's hand, with my head held high.  This could have happened to anyone.  Right???  We went to the desk and I am still laughing/crying and met what had to be the dullest, least personable person I have ever met.

Ms. Personality: Name?

Me: Owen R O B I S O N ( you have to spell it because they never get it right and they still don't get it right most of the time)

Ms. Personality: Date of Birth

Me: Owen's DOB

Ms.Personality: What is the problem?

Me: He has a toilet seat stuck on his head.  ( As if it wasn't obvious.  Did she think we were trying to start a new fashion trend.  Or did she think that was his special toy that he wouldn't leave home without?  WTF???)

Ms. Personality:  Can I get your insurance card?  Ok - take a seat.

I mean really- she didn't even crack a smile.

Luckily I knew that we would not be considered a priority so I had brought Owen's Leap Frog for him to play while we waited.  Unfortunately, he couldn't see the game so he got really frustrated.  So frustrated that he tucked his head in and yanked that toiled seat right off.  We cheered- YAY!!!  Owen went up to Ms. Personality and said "I got it off".  She looked at him, never changed expression and said "so do you still need to be seen?"

Thank goodness we did not get fully checked in so we were not billed and it did not go down on Owen's medical history.  I am not sure what getting a toilet seat could exclude you from later in life as pre-existing medical condition, but I am sure the insurance companies would definitely try.  

Smoking

 

The other day I saw an Instagram ad for a little purse that looked exactly like my Grandma Little's cigarette case. It made me think about my grandparents smoking.  Each of my grandparents had a very distinct smoking style.

Grandma Little- Her smoking style was slow and deliberate.  She smoked like they smoked in the movies.  She wore red lipstick so her butts always had her color on them.  She kept her pack in a leather case with a silver metal clasp at the top.  She would slowly take the cigarette out of her pack, tap it, slowly light it, take a drag, lean her head back and a few seconds later exhale.  If it was morning she would be drinking her instant coffee with Coffee Rich and dealing out the cards for solitaire.  She smoked so much in that one spot that there was a yellow circle on the ceiling.  When they painted the ceiling they had to put on a least 4 coats of paint because the circle kept bleeding through.  If One Life to Live and General Hospital were on she would be sitting on the loveseat with a can of Planters Cheese Balls or Goldfish.  After she had her stroke she quit smoking.  She was in the hospital and rehab for many weeks and didn't have an option, but once she quit she became the anti-smoker.  She condemned anyone who did smoke, and couldn't believe they couldn't quit.  

Grandpa Gallagher- I remember him eating his breakfast with his coffee and enjoying his cigarette.  He would be in his white undershirt.  When he passed away and Grandma Gallagher came to live in Bristol for the winters she brought his car.  She wanted the car there even though she couldn't drive because nobody would let her smoke in their cars.  We would drive her around in her car so she could smoke.  The driver's side interior had little burn marks all along the window, but the burn marks that made me laugh were the ones on the seat.  Right in between where his legs would have been.  You could almost see him jump up when the ash fell.  I am sure a choice word was said as he brushed the ash away, but too late to not leave a mark.

Grandma Gallagher- I honestly don't know how much she actually smoked.  She always had a cigarette burning, sometimes two if she forgot about the first one.  She had these little plastic ash trays that went with her and her Pepsi can with the pop top turned around to hold her straw in.  The thing I remember most about her smoking is the ash.  I have never seen anyone who could hold such a long ash on a cigarette without it breaking.  I remember one time I had some friends with me at her house.  They couldn't keep their eyes of her cigarette.  They talked about it for years. 

Grandpa Little did not smoke.  He chewed tobacco.  But that was to kill the worms.  He didn't really do it for fun.  At least that is what he told us and who were we to argue.  

A Christmas to Remember

Like everything else this year Christmas 2020 was really one to remember. The Little's had planned to get together at my parents after Christmas for New year's, but as the Covid numbers grew and the CDC and health care professionals started to beg us to just stay home and not gather in groups we knew we had to do the right thing and postpone our trips. Graham, Hye and Lily's area seemed to be under control, and they are able to isolate more than my family so my parents felt they could go for a quick visit. Hye bought everyone matching pajama's. It was really cute. Even Sunny, the favorite granchild got in on the act.

Bristol on the other hand was another story.  It was determined that our region of Southwest Virginia/Northeast Tennessee was considered to be one of the worst areas in the world.  We were trying to be as safe as possible, but Will and I both had to go into work and Caroline was doing "in person learning" (a new term for 2020- along with "virtual learning", "hybrid learning", "social distancing", "positivity rate", and so many others).  We knew so many people that were getting sick and testing positive. We didn't feel we could safely meet inside, even for a short time.  Most families would have just cancelled the trip and shipped the presents, but of course we aren't most families.  My mom wanted to meet halfway and exchange gifts so we planned a trip to Ripley, WV.  

I don't know how many of you have been to Ripley, WV.  I am not sure that I can say that I have really been to Ripley.  I have been off the two interstate exits.  There is one that has the Love's truckstop where we often meet to exchange a kid that is going or has been at Nanacamp.  This is where we met the two previous times during the pandemic.  Once at the very beginning to bring Owen home and once to bring Caroline home.  We ate McDonalds in the dog park.  Mom said she did not want to be surrounded by dog poop at Christmas so we went a little fancier.  The other exit had a Long John Silvers and a Taco Bell.  It was perfect!  Right next to the Long John Silvers was a burned out fast food restaurant with a nice parking lot. We parked in the lot and proceeded to eat our fine family dinner and exchange gifts.  The view of the burned out restaurant really just added to the fact that it was 2020.  

When it came time to do Christmas with the Carty's we didn't feel we could all safely gather inside so we moved the party to the backyard. Larry built a fire in the fire pit, we wore masks and exchanged gifts.

When Christmas Day came Bristol got hit with a snowstorm giving us the first White Christmas in about 20 years. It truly was beautiful.

While it was definitely not traditional, our Christmas was filled with laughter and love. I cherish it more because I know so many did not get to see their loved ones this year.