Monday, March 13, 2017

The Draining of the Beast

It is 12:11 on March 14th, 2017. I have insomnia.   I suspect that 42 years ago my mother wasn't getting much sleep either. I do know that she was cooking date nut bars and ate most of the pan in a third trimester pregnancy craving.  I also know that she had to be rushed by ambulance to the hospital and that because there was a blizzard the cart went through a muddy spot on the way into the house and left a mark on the floor.  My 2 year old self would point this spot out until we moved.  I was probably suffering PTSD from the birth of my brother. I am really not over it.  So, in honor of my baby brother here is a Graham story.

I would like to preface this story with the fact that I was away at The University of Tennessee during this story, behaving like an angel, and had no part in it at all.  

My brother had some friends, two brothers.  I won't mention their names in case they want to stay unidentifed, but I ended up working with their dad and he has confirmed the details.  Anyway, these two boys' parents went out of town.  The parents left the boys home alone to watch the house so of course the boys and their friends planned a party.  They found somebody of age to buy them some beer.  They had it chilling in the fridge and were waiting for the evening to unfold.  Well, the parents got partway down the road and realized they had forgotten something so they turned around and upon arrival realized that the boys were up to something.  They opened the fridge and it was full of beer. Bom Bom Bom...Party over.  My dad gets a phone call and it goes something like this.  "Hello Greg, this is J*** B****r, could you come over here and get your son's beer". Bom Bom Bom. Graham's in trouble.  Dad went and got Graham and the beer.  When the got home he made Graham pour all the beer down the drain.  (Some may ask why Dad didn't drink it.   It was Milwaukee's Best Light.  You can't drink that if you are over 21.  You lose your adult card for sure.)  My dad told Graham he was grounded for two weeks minimum, but he couldn't be ungrounded until he told him who bought the beer.  Graham refused to give up his source.  After 6 weeks my Dad was begging for him to give in.  Nope.  Graham was taking it to his grave.  Eventually my dad couldn't take anymore and he let him free.  Way to protect your source dude!  

Happy Birthday Bro!

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