Smoking

 

The other day I saw an Instagram ad for a little purse that looked exactly like my Grandma Little's cigarette case. It made me think about my grandparents smoking.  Each of my grandparents had a very distinct smoking style.

Grandma Little- Her smoking style was slow and deliberate.  She smoked like they smoked in the movies.  She wore red lipstick so her butts always had her color on them.  She kept her pack in a leather case with a silver metal clasp at the top.  She would slowly take the cigarette out of her pack, tap it, slowly light it, take a drag, lean her head back and a few seconds later exhale.  If it was morning she would be drinking her instant coffee with Coffee Rich and dealing out the cards for solitaire.  She smoked so much in that one spot that there was a yellow circle on the ceiling.  When they painted the ceiling they had to put on a least 4 coats of paint because the circle kept bleeding through.  If One Life to Live and General Hospital were on she would be sitting on the loveseat with a can of Planters Cheese Balls or Goldfish.  After she had her stroke she quit smoking.  She was in the hospital and rehab for many weeks and didn't have an option, but once she quit she became the anti-smoker.  She condemned anyone who did smoke, and couldn't believe they couldn't quit.  

Grandpa Gallagher- I remember him eating his breakfast with his coffee and enjoying his cigarette.  He would be in his white undershirt.  When he passed away and Grandma Gallagher came to live in Bristol for the winters she brought his car.  She wanted the car there even though she couldn't drive because nobody would let her smoke in their cars.  We would drive her around in her car so she could smoke.  The driver's side interior had little burn marks all along the window, but the burn marks that made me laugh were the ones on the seat.  Right in between where his legs would have been.  You could almost see him jump up when the ash fell.  I am sure a choice word was said as he brushed the ash away, but too late to not leave a mark.

Grandma Gallagher- I honestly don't know how much she actually smoked.  She always had a cigarette burning, sometimes two if she forgot about the first one.  She had these little plastic ash trays that went with her and her Pepsi can with the pop top turned around to hold her straw in.  The thing I remember most about her smoking is the ash.  I have never seen anyone who could hold such a long ash on a cigarette without it breaking.  I remember one time I had some friends with me at her house.  They couldn't keep their eyes of her cigarette.  They talked about it for years. 

Grandpa Little did not smoke.  He chewed tobacco.  But that was to kill the worms.  He didn't really do it for fun.  At least that is what he told us and who were we to argue.  

A Christmas to Remember

Like everything else this year Christmas 2020 was really one to remember. The Little's had planned to get together at my parents after Christmas for New year's, but as the Covid numbers grew and the CDC and health care professionals started to beg us to just stay home and not gather in groups we knew we had to do the right thing and postpone our trips. Graham, Hye and Lily's area seemed to be under control, and they are able to isolate more than my family so my parents felt they could go for a quick visit. Hye bought everyone matching pajama's. It was really cute. Even Sunny, the favorite granchild got in on the act.

Bristol on the other hand was another story.  It was determined that our region of Southwest Virginia/Northeast Tennessee was considered to be one of the worst areas in the world.  We were trying to be as safe as possible, but Will and I both had to go into work and Caroline was doing "in person learning" (a new term for 2020- along with "virtual learning", "hybrid learning", "social distancing", "positivity rate", and so many others).  We knew so many people that were getting sick and testing positive. We didn't feel we could safely meet inside, even for a short time.  Most families would have just cancelled the trip and shipped the presents, but of course we aren't most families.  My mom wanted to meet halfway and exchange gifts so we planned a trip to Ripley, WV.  

I don't know how many of you have been to Ripley, WV.  I am not sure that I can say that I have really been to Ripley.  I have been off the two interstate exits.  There is one that has the Love's truckstop where we often meet to exchange a kid that is going or has been at Nanacamp.  This is where we met the two previous times during the pandemic.  Once at the very beginning to bring Owen home and once to bring Caroline home.  We ate McDonalds in the dog park.  Mom said she did not want to be surrounded by dog poop at Christmas so we went a little fancier.  The other exit had a Long John Silvers and a Taco Bell.  It was perfect!  Right next to the Long John Silvers was a burned out fast food restaurant with a nice parking lot. We parked in the lot and proceeded to eat our fine family dinner and exchange gifts.  The view of the burned out restaurant really just added to the fact that it was 2020.  

When it came time to do Christmas with the Carty's we didn't feel we could all safely gather inside so we moved the party to the backyard. Larry built a fire in the fire pit, we wore masks and exchanged gifts.

When Christmas Day came Bristol got hit with a snowstorm giving us the first White Christmas in about 20 years. It truly was beautiful.

While it was definitely not traditional, our Christmas was filled with laughter and love. I cherish it more because I know so many did not get to see their loved ones this year.

Thanksgiving 2020

This will be a year that no one will ever be able to forget. I quit saying "that will never happen" about 4 months ago. Nobody would disagree with the fact that 2020 has been one of the scariest, craziest, hardest years ever, but it wasn't all bad. Here are twenty things that 2020 gave me, in no particular order. 

 

1. Dinnertime. For several months when everything was locked down we had dinner as a family every night. 

2. Puzzles- I completed at lease 15 puzzles.

3. Books- I read 10 books. I had forgotten how much I loved to read. 

4. Family Zoom Calls- We may not have been able to be together in person, but zoom was the next best thing. 

5. Fires- specifically fire pits and bonfires. If it is safer to be outside, outside is where we will gather. 

6. Hamilton on Disney+. I love it more every time I watch it. 

7. I am not as busy at home. Board meetings are via zoom. Fewer afterschool activities. 

8. I found the coolest yellow couch. 

9. My immediate family has been in good health. Living through a pandemic really makes one realize what a gift good health is. 

10. Learning to let some things go. 

11. Appreciation for a family that holds the same values as I do. 

12. Greater appreciation for my friends. 

13. Curbside Pickup. Seriously- can we keep this forever. 

14. Family walks. We started to take more walks as a family. 

15. I actually did several of my New Year's resolutions. - got rid of my storage unit, made lots of banana bread, found a casserole to share, read more, organized the house. 

16. I started baking cookies again. I might have made the most amazing Snickerdoodles ever. 

17. Admiration, Respect and Love for my children's teachers. 2020 has really shown us how much a good teacher can impact a child. 

18. Comedy- Memes, TikTok videos, cartoons, and everything else that makes me laugh. I think everyone being stuck at home has made most of us realize that we need to lighten up and not take ourselves so seriously all the time. 

19. New cat- White Tummy. Although Milquetoast is not very grateful for this one. 

20. Love. I feel truly loved by my family and my friends.

Aunt Bonnie

My Aunt Bonnie passed away yesterday in Arizona from Covid 19.  There won't be a funeral right now so we won't get to sit around and tell our favorite Bonnie stories so I am going to tell you mine. 

Bonnie is the oldest of my mother's siblings.  She is married to Rick Phillips.  She has two children, Missy and Kevin.  Kevin and I are only months apart in age so we spent a lot of time together as children.  Much of that time was at Bonnie's house which was almost directly behind my grandmother's house.  I remember cutting through the backyards to get to Kevin and Missy's house so we could play together.  Missy was older than me so she was doing her own thing by the time I was able to walk there by myself.  I am pretty sure that Kevin would have liked to be doing anything else in the world but playing with me, but his parents made him do it. 

I am sure my aunt had many talents that I am not aware of, but in my mind she is known for cooking and crafts, particularly painted ceramics. She tried to teach me how to paint ceramics.  I did make a Christmas Tree with the light in the middle that lights up the little plastic ornaments.  I was really proud of it, but let's be honest, it is hard to mess up painting something green.  I still put it out at Christmas even though over half of the ornaments are broken.  I do have several ornaments that she gave me as presents.  Here is a picture of one.

She was always trying to make me into a crafter.  I did successfully make a snowman out of a sock and some rice with her help, but the bugs eventually got it.  I am pretty sure she knew I was a lost cause, but she kept trying.

Now let's talk about cooking.  My aunt was a great cook. She wasn't afraid to try new recipes.  I think most of her recipes came from women's magazines.  She was especially good at cookies, desserts and party food.  I believe she was the first one in our family to make Sour Cream Cookies.  They are a cutout cookie that isn't as sweet as a sugar cookie and it kind of puffs up a little.  She frosted hers with the most incredible frosting.  She used to sell her cookies at Christmas.  My Grandma Little would buy them so we got Aunt Bonnie cookies when we visited both sides of the family.  I honestly don't know how many different kinds of cookies that there were.  I know it was at least 15.  When you went into her kitchen it was filled with baking supplies.  She also introduced us to Cream Puff Cake.  You make a Cream Puff dough and bake it in a 9x13 pan.  The filling is Pudding, Cream Cheese, and Milk layered with Cool Whip and Chocolate Syrup.  Yeah- it's amazing.  .

Where Bonnie really was amazing was with parties. The woman could plan a party. She was the originator of the Bourbon Slush recipe.  If you haven't had Bourbon Slush we need to talk.  I was never old enough, but she had a game with horses and dice that you bet money while you drank Bourbon Slush. Those games got pretty rowdy.  She and my Uncle Rick liked to play cards a lot and would often have people over or go to their house. She made some really good dips and other appetizers that could travel.  When they moved to Massillon after Kevin was in college she joined a newcomers group.  It didn't take long for her to be in charge of the group. (she was the oldest of 7 remember- she knew how to tell people to get things done).  She had that group make a cookbook and we all got a copy. 

Right now I can imagine that she is in the process of starting the New To Heaven group.   Everyone has been told to bring their favorite appetizer.  It is BYOB, but she will make some sort of really cool cocktail for everyone to try.  She is telling St. Peter that he better get the joint cleaned up because there is card game Friday Night. And St. Francis- please do something with the garden around the pearly gate.  It hasn't been updated in years.  She tells him she may run over to Pat Catan's to make a decoration for the gate. 

Goodbye Aunt Bonnie.  Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord.  And let perpetual light shine upon her.  May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Thanks Mom

  

It's Mother's Day and I would like to officially thank my mother.  I have so much to thank her for.

She carried me around in her womb for nine months and then gave birth to me.  Having given birth three times I know this is no easy task.  I am sure it was even harder in 1972 working on your feet all day as a nurse.  I like being in this world, as crazy as it is, so for this I thank her.  She also supplied all my basic needs- food, shelter and water.  Today I think we sometimes take those things for granted, but we shouldn't.  I want her to know that now I know that those things don't just appear.  She had to work for them.  While I am very grateful for having a childhood that all my basic needs were met, I am most grateful for the things that my mother taught me.  Here are just a few.

#1 When faced with a unpleasant task don't put it off.  Put on your big panties and just get through it.  My mother used to tell us she didn't understand the language "whine".  We could whine all we wanted but it wasn't going to get us anywhere.  Even if something hurt you just needed to grit your teeth and push through. This life lesson has really served me well, especially when dealing with children's vomit and explosive poo. One of my doctors loves to tell the story of the time my mom (who was his nurse) helped with a small procedure on me at his office.  It was painful.  Really, really painful.  As she held my hand, stroking my head she said "suck it up Meghan, you can get through this".  The doctor still to this day tells me how strange it was to see his nurse who was known for offering so much compassion to his patients just basically told me to get over it.  What the doctor didn't know, is that if my mother had acted any differently not only would I be in the same amount of pain, but I would have been terrified that something was wrong because she was coddling me.

#2 If you say you are going to do something- do it.  My mother is a woman of her word.  Let's say you are fighting with your brother in the backseat of the car and your mom says if you don't stop she is going to stop the car and make you get out.  Most kids know their mom is not serious.  My mom was serious and Graham and I learned the hard way.  Standing on the side of the road outside the car.  Now, she let us back in pretty quickly, but when she says something, she is serious.  But more importantly, you can rely on my mother to do what she says.  No matter what.  If you ask for her help and she says yes, not only will she help, but she will go far beyond what you expected her to do.

#3 Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to make you feel better.  My mother is a firm believer that the longer you sit and wallow in your pain the harder it is going to be recover.  I think that is why she liked working in the recovery room at the surgery center.  When you are coming out of anesthesia all you want to do is sleep and the nurses are yelling at you to wake up.  They are making you sit up and drink something.  They know you don't want to wake up, but you have to.  My mom knows that you always feel better if you get up, take a shower and do something.

#4 Take pride in how you look. We butted heads on this life lesson.  A Lot.  Over the years my definition of taking pride was much different than my mothers.  One thing we always agreed on is a you should pull an outfit together with a statement piece, we just had differing opinions on what the statement should be.  She was really not fond of my black Depeche Mode, Smiths, and INXS t-shirts  and she just shook her head with my thick wool socks and Birkenstocks.  My mother would never ever in a million years leave the house without lipstick.  I don't quite live up to those standards, but I do think that it is ridiculous to go to out of the house in your pajamas.  I mean really people, it takes less than a minute to throw on some pants and a t-shirt.  I am not typically a judgmental person, but if I see you in public in your pajamas all I can think about is the fact that you haven't changed your underwear and I think that is gross.  I hate pajama day at school and I make my kids wear clean pajamas that they have changed into when the dreaded day occurs.

#5 Life is better when you are not afraid to step outside your comfort zone and not take yourself so seriously.  My mom has had so many friends throughout the years.  She has surrounded herself with friends from all different walks of life with different backgrounds, interests and lifestyles. She is not afraid to try something new and out of character.  I remember my mom going to see the Rocky Horror in the 80's and a drag show in Key West. She took me to see Madonna and U2 in the '80's.  She shocked us all when recently she got not one, but two tattoos.

These are just a few life lessons that I learned from my mother.  The most important one is that I learned she is always there for me, no matter what.  Thanks Mom.

Punch

I am on a mission and I need some help.  I want to bring punch back.  Let's just say I love punch.  We always had punch at parties when I was growing up.  There are so many things about punch that make it fabulous.  

First- the color.  Who doesn't like to drink pink, or orange, or green! 

Next- the fact that it is like getting dessert before dinner.  How often does that happen?  And it has sherbet in it.  Sherbet is lovely and as I get older and more lactose intolerant it is becoming even more lovely. Yes, I know it has some cream, but not as much as ice cream so the hangover isn't as bad.  Also, I can send my BFF the English Major into a complete tizzy by calling it sherbeRt.  Owen said it right when he called it her trigger word.  

Punchbowls.  Punchbowls are so pretty and so impractical.  It is like a deviled egg plate.  It only has one function.  Punchbowls (and deviled egg plates) spark joy in me and I will fight Marie Kondo if she says otherwise.  (just kidding- who would fight Marie Kondo- she is so adorable and really my zen hero).  My mom has a gorgeous Candlewick punch bowl with matching cups and I am publicly stating that it is mine.  Hands off Graham!!!!

Lastly- HELLO!!!- FROTH!!!  Gorgeous, lovely, foamy froth that you can slurp off the top, or try and tilt your cup just right so you save it until the end and then go hide in a corner and try and lick it all out without getting it on your nose.  

Can I say it again- I LOVE PUNCH! While sherbet punch is definitely my favorite, I am also a fan of the clear sparkly punch made with juice and ginger ale.  Bonus if there is fruit floating in it and OMG if there is a molded ice thingy with the fruit frozen into it.  

Now- let's talk about adult punch.  You may be shocked, but I love adult punch too.  My only request is that if there is adult punch and there are kids present, there should be two punch bowls. It would just be mean to drink punch in front of a kid and tell them they couldn't have any.  

So let's all say it together- We Love Punch!  We WILL Bring Punch Back!!  We can do it.  We can do it for our kids.  I don't want my kids to miss out on this glorious decadence that eats up all my weight watchers points for a day.  We can all agree on punch.  Maybe punch will be the thing that brings us back together.  We can all wear creamy orange hats that say MAPA- Make America Punchy Again.   

Grandpa's Tattoo

This past weekend my dad, my brother and his wife, my cousins Jason and Ness and their respective spouses, and I spent the afternoon at winery.  My grandfather used to spend quite a bit of time at this particular winery- The Quarry Hill Winery and Orchard when it was just an Orchard.  In addition to going there to buy fruit my grandfather would walk the orchard after it rained and search for Native American Arrowheads.  I never went with him, but I can imagine him walking up and down the rows. 

As we raised our glasses to toast him the stories started to flow.  My dad told us stories of spending summers on the boat.  He told us that many times as a kid he would go to sleep at the Beaver Park Yacht Club in Lorain and wake up in Put in Bay.  He could only imagine that probably somebody who was several cocktails in would say- "Let's go to the islands" and they would race over.  Dad loved summers on the lake.  He was pretty much left to his own while his parents partied the summer away. 

My Grandpa always had a very special way of saying things.  For instance, when we weren't moving fast enough for him he would yell- Do you want a size 10-1/2 boot up your ass.  Sure, he could have just said get moving, but then how would I remember his shoe size.  He was not a fan of facial hair.  Instead of saying you need a shave, he would say why cultivate on your face what grows naturally on your asshole.  We never had to worry about knowing how he really felt that is for sure.

Whenever we start on the Grandpa stories inevitably the poem comes up.  It starts "There was a little bird, no bigger than a turd..."  Grandpa would say that and never continue.  He would promise that one day he would finish it, but not until we were older.  He never told me how the poem ended.  I believe he eventually told Jason, but Jason was holding on to the secret.  Well thank goodness somebody invented the internet because otherwise we would never know. 

There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd
Sitting on a telephone pole.
He ruffled out his little neck, and he shat about a peck
As he puckered up his little asshole. Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
As he puckered up his little asshole.

Grandpa sure did use the word asshole a lot.  Grandma did too, but when Grandma said it she was talking about a person.  Grandpa was actually talking about anatomy.  (see we got science lessons too)

The best story of the day was when I asked my dad if my Grandpa had a tattoo.  I couldn't remember if he had one or not.  In my mind it was an Anchor, but i just wasn't sure.  My dad laughed.  He said don't you remember when Grandpa would ask if you wanted to see his tattoo?  If you said yes he would lift his shirt exposing his un-tattooed torso and point to his belly button.  He would say, I used to have a Hula Dancer but now she is faded and all that is left is her asshole.  I can never look at a Hula tattoo the same again.