The 50th Wedding Anniversary

Well this story is a little fuzzy because my dear cousin Vanessa took it as a personal challenge to get a record number of Slow Comfortable Screw cocktail's down my throat, but here is how I remember it.

Let's start with the backstory.  My grandfather had health problems.  I don't know them all, but I know he had half a lung missing and had open heart surgery way before the time that open heart surgery was readily available.   When it came time for the 40th Wedding Anniversary nobody knew how much longer he would be around so we had a big anniversary party for all the friends and family.  By the time the 50th rolled around he didn't want to have a big fuss so we decided to just go out for a nice family dinner.  My family was in Tennessee by then.  I was a Sophomore at the University of Tennessee (GO VOLS!!!!)  We drove up to Lorain for a long weekend of festivities.  We went to White Oaks Restaurant in Westlake.  Very nice restaurant. They never saw us coming.  Let me preface this with my family is generally very well mannered in public.   We all go to nice restaurants often.  We know which fork to use.  We are not the Clampetts.  We probably appeared to the staff to be a nice quiet family out to celebrate a milestone anniversary with the sweet little old couple.   But then Grandpa ordered a  scotch.   I don't remember my grandfather really ever drinking that much.  I had heard that he was the life of the party in his younger days, but I think he kind of went cold turkey when his major health problems started.  Anyway, Grandpa ordered his scotch so we all thought "when in Rome".  The drinks started flowing.  Dinner was served and was great.  The drinks started flowing again.  The jokes started flying.  It is really hard to determine which butter is the open one when they are in little pats on little plates all over the table.  We were having a ball.  We were getting a few looks from people around the restaurant.  We weren't overly obnoxious, but everybody knew we were celebrating something.  Dessert was fabulous and with dessert comes cocktails.  Then it happened.  Jason says- wow Grandpa you are really throwing them back tonight.  Grandpa gives out a woo hoo!  Jason says - Grandpa's gonna have Grandma on her head tonight.  I confusedly look at Jason and say what does that mean.  Grandpa yells out- When you get to be my age you can't get it up anymore so you just turn them over on their their head and plop it in!  Dad promptly says- Check Please!!!!!